Manchester’s music scene is one of the best, if not the best in the North, and it has the venues to match.
They range from tiny, dank basements where you can catch an exciting new band’s first performance, to arenas and stadiums where established artists flex their popularity muscles and tour budget.
Alas there is no such thing as a perfect venue though. Take a look and see if you recognise any of these struggles for Manchester gig goers.
1. The sticky yet bouncy floors at The Ritz
The best of both worlds I guess?
2. Bottlenecking at The Albert Hall
The gig has finished, you’re drenched in sweat that the loud air con couldn’t sort out, and you’re sharing elbows with your standing neighbour.
You think: ‘Right, let’s head for the only exit’. 10 minutes later when you still haven’t been able to move you think: ‘Right, bar?’
3. Being the centre of attention on The Deaf Institute balcony
Dude, there is a band on stage you know.
4. Feeling awkward drinking beer in Manchester Cathedral
Django Django are on stage killing it, you’re very aware that you’re in a church so you don’t know whether to lose it and dance along or to stand rigid sipping your communal beer.
5. Feeling like a London commuter at The Eagle Inn
It’s another sell out; you and 79 others squash together and become one giant human flan. The lucky punters at the front have the privilege of joining the band on ‘stage’ for the entire set.
6. Annoying first time gig go-ers in the Academy (any of them)
You can identify them easily when you choose your spot for the gig and hear an aggressive sigh coming from behind you. Take care; you’ve just entered the private domain of the first timer – for whom the artist has only turned up for, of course. And if you value your life DO NOT SPEAK during the gig or else you’ll face a tirade of abuse about how they’ve been Grimes’ biggest fan since her ‘debut’ single was played on Radio 1 last week (despite the fact she is four albums in).
7. Travelling to/from The Apollo
Who drives to a gig anyway?
8. Listening to someone wax lyrical about The Smiths or The Stone Roses whilst waiting for band to start
It’s inevitable in Manchester; someone will be discussing it somewhere in the crowd. No matter where you stand or sit, even in the f-ing toilets, you’ll hear the words:
“I’ve actually got seven versions of Meat is Murder”
“The thing about ‘I Am the Resurrection’ is…”
To make matters worse the sound guy starts playing ‘Fool’s Gold’ for the 8th time.
Hang the DJ indeed…
9. The one guy who heckles the band to play ‘Wonderwall’
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